Dearest MTA…

Subway Doors

You suck.

No really you do.

I was warned prior to moving to New York that they like to do a lot of construction and basically mess up your whole life schedule. I thought everyone was exaggerating. I mean, I only have to take one train back and forth everyday. It shouldn’t be a problem right? WRONG!  It is a problem because they like to do things on nights and weekends. I like to do things on nights and weekends. I mean isn’t that the point of living in NYC and not having to worry about class or school? The other night, I had to take 3 trains to go 200 blocks. I know you’re asking why I had to go 200 blocks anyways but that’s not the point!

Traveling sucks enough already. Why MTA? Why do you have to make it worse?

TIMES A Wastin’

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I’ve never had a car so I’ve never truly understood the luxury of going from point A to point B with little to no hassle. At least not as an adult. When I was growing up of course I had my mother and once I went to college I had friends who would offer rides. But even then I would feel bad asking, and then I’d have to wait on them or be ready at a certain and blah blah blah. It still was never as easy and getting in a vehicle and going where I needed to go. I did use public transportation but I did very rarely when venturing outside of the huge area surrounding my school. I picked my housing for the last two years almost solely on the proximity to campus. Every place I needed to get to on a daily basis was either within walking distance or required a less than 20 minute bus ride. And that’s only if the buses were late and there was a ton of traffic and they hit every single traffic light. That’s not so much the case now.

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Pardon the Interruption

Train Tracks

Ahh train stories. They never get old and they never end. People do really strange things on the train and it’s quite entertaining. When I was staying in Brooklyn, every morning on the way to work this one man would get on at the same spot and I would hear:

“Please pardon the interruption but I am sick. I just got out of the hospital. I am sick. I am not physically sick or mentally sick. I am sick for money. [Some rambling about health care and not taking a shower]”

Then this “sick” man proceeded to walk all the way through the car saying “Can anybody help me. Can anybody help me? Can anybody help me!” 

He would get off at the next stop. 

Of course he was not the last person I’ve witnessed asking for money on the train. Continue reading

Please Excuse Your Flesh

Twerk

I have a problem.

And the problem is people.

It really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. Especially since I’ve expressed several times how I am having a hard time living with one person, (a cat and a dog). It’s also not a secret that the subway provides me with the bulk of my writing material. There is one thing, (okay I’m lying, there are tons of things), that has really been bothering me about people on the subway. Why must they touch me? Continue reading

Crotches and Poles

Subway take 2

No, no, I did not go to a strip club in the city…although that is on my bucket list. In fact, I think there’s one not far from where I work. I wouldn’t give them any money though. I’m a broke college student grad. I’m sure they would prefer to have hundred dollar bills rain on them instead of the roll of nickels my grandmother gave me before I left for New York. (Hey Drake, I think I just came up with a new song for you; strippers, a sentimental story about throwing nickels at her, and then something about you falling in love with the imprint of Jefferson’s face on her right cheek. Feel free to put my Grammy in the mail).

This story is about my favorite form of transportation…THE SUBWAY! The subway has given me so many hilarious stories already it’s ridiculous. But, hopefully it’s also entertaining. *joke sound effect inserted here* Continue reading

The Worst Seat on the Subway

Subway SeatThis title is a slight lie…because the true worst seat on the subway is not having one. So this should really be called The Second Worst Seat on the Subway. I’m sure everyone has a favorite and least favorite seat on the train. So far I prefer to plant myself right next to the door. It’s super convenient if you know which side of the train is going to open up once you get to your destination. It’s only slightly convenient if you end up on the wrong side. (Embarrassing Side Note: I didn’t know there were two sides until about the third time I rode the train.) Basically, as long as I can get out without having to push people down I’m good. But there is one particular seat I have learned to actually hate. A seat so annoying, that if it was the only one left I may or may not consider just standing the whole entire ride.

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