The Worst Seat on the Subway

This title is a slight lie…because the true worst seat on the subway is not having one. So this should really be called The Second Worst Seat on the Subway. I’m sure everyone has a favorite and least favorite seat on the train. So far I prefer to plant myself right next to the door. It’s super convenient if you know which side of the train is going to open up once you get to your destination. It’s only slightly convenient if you end up on the wrong side. (Embarrassing Side Note: I didn’t know there were two sides until about the third time I rode the train.) Basically, as long as I can get out without having to push people down I’m good. But there is one particular seat I have learned to actually hate. A seat so annoying, that if it was the only one left I may or may not consider just standing the whole entire ride.

This seat in directly in front of the map. I like to call it the “I hope you don’t have something wrong with you hair or a pimple on your forehead because a stranger is staring at it right now” seat. You would think…okay I thought…that most tourists are busy trying to hail cabs. I didn’t know that people visiting want to ride the subway at 8:30 in the morning to get the FULL New York experience. In case you didn’t know either, I am here to tell you that they do. And they are lost, (aren’t we all?). And as any lost person would do they look at the ever so disrespectfully placed map. I have witnessed several people walk through the train, holding onto the highest bar, lowering their head, focusing their eyes and even pointing right above the heads of poor innocent train riders. I didn’t think much of it more than, it sucks for them. And then, as always, Karma showed up.

One fine New York day, on my way “home” from work I plopped down into an empty seat, dreaming of what I was going to eat for dinner and trying not to fall asleep. A few stops into my fantasy of a Chipotle Rice Bowl I noticed a mother and son standing really close to me. Of course my first instinct was to glare and them so they would move. As I was beginning to get my stare together I realized I had chosen the map seat. So for the next 20 minutes I had people staring directly above, (although I think at), my head. My thoughts had moved from Chipotle dreams to nightmares about whether or not my hair looked okay or if I had some make up on my forehead, if a bird had pooped on me, was there a spider behind me? The horrible thoughts were endless.

I just want to know; if you can stare at a map on a subway for 20 minutes straight why can’t you look at the advertisement for the 4 kajillion transportation apps supported by MTA. It would save time and a perfectly good seat.

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