You’ve Got Great New York Bagels

Three stars for you if you can catch the reference.

From all of the shows and movies I watched set in New York, I got the idea that New Yorkers liked bagels. It didn’t seem too odd of a staple food item. I mean, bagels are good. They’re versatile, you can toast them, slather on butter, or cream cheese. You can even make bagel sandwiches for breakfast, lunch or dinner. They’re also portable, so I assumed busy New Yorkers loved them for their “grab and go” capability. I’ve always liked bagels, but I never loved them. To me bagels have always been a cute way to eat bread and that’s about it. But now? Oh, now I see the light that shines through the middle of those glorious clouds of sunshine.

My journey to bagel heaven happened on the first morning I stayed in the Brooklyn palace. I was offered a bagel to grab on my way to work. And, as a hungry broke person I gladly accepted. Although I didn’t take the cream cheese because that would’ve been a little too involved and a little too weird, because then I’d have to use a knife and something to cut it on…it was just too much. And I am lazy.

So I grabbed an Everything Bagel from the brown paper bag sitting on the counter and awkwardly threw it in my giant tote I was carrying my computer around in. Before I even threw it into my bag. I knew that this was no ordinary bagel. It was big, fluffy, and when I finally had a chance to eat it my world was changed. It pulled apart like a Pillsbury dinner roll and it was just…everything. Just like the name suggested. I thought to myself, “this is what rich people food tastes like”.

Later that same week, as I ordered my morning coffee from a place cheaper than Starbucks, I decided to get another bagel. Mostly because I had convinced myself it was somehow better than eating a muffin for breakfast and I was still on a high from my Everything Bagel days before. And to my surprise it was just as delicious. And the cream cheese? Had REAL strawberries in it. I was hooked. From that day on, I ordered an oompa loompa purple blueberry bagel with real live strawberry cream cheese everyday! I’m on a bagel break for now. Mostly because I killed the novelty a little, I’m broke and fearful that eating a bagel every morning will make me shaped like one. But once I get more funds and establish my running habit I will go on a bagel quest and pin every worthy bakery with a “NY Bagel” blue ribbon just like Dave Chappelle. Maybe I’ll even find those “good bagels” Carrie brought to Miranda after Aiden saw her naked.

The moral of the story? When it comes to bagels, I get it New Yorkers.

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